"Have you ever thought a person was a sociopath - or a psychopath? What made you think so, and how did they make you feel? Finally, how could you adopt some of their traits and behaviours to create a villain for a story?"
Me! Sometimes I seriously worry about myself. I have so much rage in me. And over nothings! Sometimes someone beeps at or just near me in a car and I get so angry my fists clench, my teeth clench, and I want to beat the shit out of that person - who beeped their horn. I mean WHY? Why do I get so angry? And I wish I didn't feel this way, have these awful, horrible reactions.
Then, also, there's the evil Nazi within me, who I try to resist but also a big (?) part of me believes, dear God. The part that - when I'm angry at a chav who's been unkind to me or, more likely, a homeless person who hassles me for money, I give in, and he whinges I haven't given him enough - thinks that in some way at some point this (their situation) is their fault, whatever their terrible upbringing etc., and who then imagines shouting at them that I'm sick of carrying people like them, and that people like them (who are shit) should be put down. I mean the world is overpopulated, might as well get rid of the crap ones....
Bad Jax. Very bad Jax.
Yes, I'm not a good person. But then my mind fights my emotional reaction and reminds me that people are the products of often terrible pasts, and that, also, I've had a wonderful life full of advantages and amazing support systems, and that even I have to call on my friends and family and others for help, sometimes quite heavily. And I also remind myself that everyone, whoever and whatever they are and have done, deserves life and support to live the best life that is possible for them. Or at least that's what I believe. So it's my emotions versus my mind. It's like there's an evil creature within me that my mind has to control. (The inner 'jihad'.)
But yes, I'm very villainous. I wish I wasn't. And I feel guilty, because a lot of people think I'm nice, but I'm not.
But (again), yes, lots of story material.
Me! Sometimes I seriously worry about myself. I have so much rage in me. And over nothings! Sometimes someone beeps at or just near me in a car and I get so angry my fists clench, my teeth clench, and I want to beat the shit out of that person - who beeped their horn. I mean WHY? Why do I get so angry? And I wish I didn't feel this way, have these awful, horrible reactions.
Then, also, there's the evil Nazi within me, who I try to resist but also a big (?) part of me believes, dear God. The part that - when I'm angry at a chav who's been unkind to me or, more likely, a homeless person who hassles me for money, I give in, and he whinges I haven't given him enough - thinks that in some way at some point this (their situation) is their fault, whatever their terrible upbringing etc., and who then imagines shouting at them that I'm sick of carrying people like them, and that people like them (who are shit) should be put down. I mean the world is overpopulated, might as well get rid of the crap ones....
Bad Jax. Very bad Jax.
Yes, I'm not a good person. But then my mind fights my emotional reaction and reminds me that people are the products of often terrible pasts, and that, also, I've had a wonderful life full of advantages and amazing support systems, and that even I have to call on my friends and family and others for help, sometimes quite heavily. And I also remind myself that everyone, whoever and whatever they are and have done, deserves life and support to live the best life that is possible for them. Or at least that's what I believe. So it's my emotions versus my mind. It's like there's an evil creature within me that my mind has to control. (The inner 'jihad'.)
But yes, I'm very villainous. I wish I wasn't. And I feel guilty, because a lot of people think I'm nice, but I'm not.
But (again), yes, lots of story material.
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