Jax Burgoyne Writes

"Jut as splinters work their way to the surface of our skin, given time, stones work their way to the topsoil over successive frosts.  What themes or ideas 'surface' in your writing?"

​This made me realise I've forgotten about a lot of the stories I've written.  Lots will be missing from this list.  But, basically, what I remembered was:

​Loss/grief - Writer, Greyhound, When Harry Met Sally
​Anger/pain - What You Deserve, Sweat and Tears
​Being haunted - the one based on Dad talking about Nanny dying
​Society's failings - PNCS, Messenger 1
​Dismissing love - Summer Lightning
Hating yourself - Greyhound, Crow Flying

​(Joy, joy, joy, and a bit more joy :) )

​Not the only themes of course, and there's good sides too in some of these but still, wow, a bag of dirges there.  I guess it depends how you look at the story, how you subdivide (or don't) what it's about.  I must look at more of my stories.  And also what about the funny ones?  Like Cuthbert the Giraffe, and my 50/50 animal ones.  There's definitely a light somewhere.

​Oh yeah what about the snow one - what's that about?  People being amazing, what belief can do...?

"Have you ever thought a person was a sociopath - or a psychopath?  What made you think so, and how did they make you feel?  Finally, how could you adopt some of their traits and behaviours to create a villain for a story?"

Me!  Sometimes I seriously worry about myself.  I have so much rage in me.  And over nothings!  Sometimes someone beeps at or just near me in a car and I get so angry my fists clench, my teeth clench, and I want to beat the shit out of that person - who beeped their horn.  I mean WHY?  Why do I get so angry?  And I wish I didn't feel this way, have these awful, horrible reactions.

Then, also, there's the evil Nazi within me, who I try to resist but also a big (?) part of me believes, dear God.  The part that - when I'm angry at a chav who's been unkind to me or, more likely, a homeless person who hassles me for money, I give in, and he whinges I haven't given him enough - thinks that in some way at some point this (their situation) is their fault, whatever their terrible upbringing etc., and who then imagines shouting at them that I'm sick of carrying people like them, and that people like them (who are shit) should be put down.  I mean the world is overpopulated, might as well get rid of the crap ones....

Bad Jax.  Very bad Jax.

Yes, I'm not a good person.  But then my mind fights my emotional reaction and reminds me that people are the products of often terrible pasts, and that, also, I've had a wonderful life full of advantages and amazing support systems, and that even I have to call on my friends and family and others for help, sometimes quite heavily.  And I also remind myself that everyone, whoever and whatever they are and have done, deserves life and support to live the best life that is possible for them.  Or at least that's what I believe.  So it's my emotions versus my mind.  It's like there's an evil creature within me that my mind has to control.  (The inner 'jihad'.)  

But yes, I'm very villainous.  I wish I wasn't.  And I feel guilty, because a lot of people think I'm nice, but I'm not.

But (again), yes, lots of story material.

"Think of two of your favourite films.  Can you write a plot synopsis of each in just one sentence?"

I think you will be able to guess these....

1.  Woman has to repel one man, chooses wrong man, eventually likes right man, while friends and relatives have varying degrees of success in love.

2.  Wussy woman who can't say no and is obsessed with wrong man eventually falls in love with someone she likes to argue with who helps her learn to stand up for herself.

"What is your personal anthem, and what makes you choose that song?"

I suggested my personal anthem to Matt when he was feeling low one day - to pump him up a la Ally Macbeal.  I don't think he was too impressed - he probably didn't even listen to it - but I think his is a slightly more refined, thinking, lyrical, pensive (maybe) taste.  I think, possibly, it's because he is kinder than me. And much more cultured.  He feels not as cultured as our friends Goran and Therese, and yes, they are SUPREMELY cultured, but he very much puts me to shame.

But anyway, what is my personal anthem?  It is Kevin Rudolf featuring Little Wayne and 'Let it Rock'.  Why?  It is arrogant - 5000% arrogant - and it is strong.  Sadly the lyrics say 'I wish I could be as cruel as you,' not 'as cool as you,' but if we ignore the fact of the actual words to the song, then we can imagine a wrestler coming out onto his...wrestling stage...and everyone saying they wish they could be as cool as him.  That's what it is to me: it is the song that provokes the adoring applause of millions.  It pumps me up.

Shame I got the lyrics wrong.  :)

It's a Q&A A Day For Writers: 365 Questions for Creative Exploration - 1-year journal. So, basically, she's trying to get me to write something each day.  So I WILL!  

In order to make it so that this might actually happen - if with (as I just did) a few mad catch up sessions - I'm posting it onto here.  People are welcome to follow - I hear sometimes people do that with blogs.

I warn you, though, this will probably be utter tripe.

​Thanks Em! xxx